So far this is my second favorite book of the year: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. In a nut-shell, it's about two young cancer patients (Hazel and Augustus) who fall in love. Mostly, I love how honestly the author writes. He gives really great insights into what his characters are thinking, putting into words things that I have thought about before too. These were some of my favorite quotes from the book (*page numbers may not correspond to the actual text because I was reading this online through the digital public library):
"Isaac and I communicated almost exclusively through sighs. Each time someone discussed anticancer diets or snorting ground-up shark fin or whatever, he'd glance over at me and sigh ever so slightly. I'd shake my head microscopically and exhale in response." (27)
Hazel describes this as the one redeeming part of her cancer support group meetings. As a pretty quiet person, I can definitely relate. I typically didn't speak up much in class when I was younger.. and later- in staff meetings at work, I would communicate how I felt about what we were discussing through looks or "microscopic" head nods to friends. And in some of those situations, the unspoken communication was the best part of the class or meeting.
"I paused a second, trying to figure out if my response should be calibrated to please Augustus or his parents." (49)
In this scene, Hazel is meeting Augustus's parents for the first time and they ask how the support group meeting went. If she answers truely honestly, her response would probably make Augustus laugh.. but would also most likely be considered rude by his parents. Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like even the most honest people "calibrate" their responses for their audience. It doesn't mean they lie, but they choose which part of the truth to tell.. and when you have a split audience it becomes even more apparent that you are choosing what to say. For example, when I'm with a friend and we talk about cooking, I say that I can follow recipes and the things I make are easy. When I talk about cooking with my mom or grandma, I tell them about some of the more interesting recipes I've tried lately or experiments that have turned out well. With my friends, I don't want to seem like I'm bragging; with my mom and grandma, I want them to know that I can feed myself fairly healthy foods. The completely honest truth is somewhere in the middle: I can follow recipes. I can make things up and sometimes they turn out well. I eat lots of vegetables and not much fruit. I often have hot chocolate for breakfast, and sometimes I have Oreos and milk for dinner.
"...they were good songs, but because I didn't know them already, they weren't as good to me as they were to him." (58)
I also prefer to listen to songs I already know. When I was dating a musician, this was probably not his favorite thing about me.. but you can't sing along unless you know the words!
"And then the line was quiet but not dead. I almost felt like he was there in my room with me, but in a way it was better, like I was not in my room and he was not in his, but instead we were together in some invisible and tenuous third space that could only be visited on the phone." (99)
I like this image!
"The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we'd done were less real and important than they had been hours before." (305)
To me, this is one of the hardest things about losing a friend, especially when it's a friend you had for a long time or with whom you shared a lot of interesting experiences. Once that friend is no longer a part of your life, you don't have anyone to reminisce with about your shared experiences.. and as those memories start to fade, it does make them feel less real and important to some degree. It's a sad thing.
2016 Book Count: 9
